


Romantic Obscenities and Other Curiosities Of Love

by casstayinmyass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Biologist Remus, Canon Age, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Soulmates, Sexual Tension, Ski Guide Sirius, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Writing Is Quirky Because The Writer Is Quirky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: Sirius Black's soulmate has a foul mouth-- that's all he knows. Remus Lupin wonders what he could have possibly done to warrant such an explosion of words that he's had tattooed on his back his whole life. In the small mountain town of Hogsmeade, they're both bound to find out soon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is slightly inspired by a first-words-to-each-other-tattoo soulmate au found on tumblr.

"How romantic."

Sirius Black stared down at his arm in disdain. Of all the stupid, outlandish expressions that his soulmate's first words could be, it was this.

"Isn't it though?" he replied to Lily in equal parts misery and sarcasm, lolling his head back. The coffee hadn't kicked in yet, and he had to be up on the mountain for a job by 10.

"So how's guiding going?" Lily asked.

"Shit," Sirius said, "How're things with you, love?"

"About the same."

They both grunted, and finally, Sirius began to feel the telltale itching of his nerves that told him the caffeine was seeping into his blood and working its magic. He ran a hand through his curls, and took another sip, flashing the awfully obscene tattoo on his forearm. Quite honestly, Sirius didn't have much of a problem with the obscenity of the phrase itself-- having the soulmate mark of "Fuck You!" emblazoned on his arm proved rather handy to pull his sleeve back during aggravating encounters in the street-- it was just the principle of the thing. Lily Potter, his closest friend whom sat directly opposite him currently, had the loveliest scrawl across her upper leg that read: you're beautiful. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD. What kind of stingy bastard was Sirius destined to moon over?! Thankfully, he worked as a ski guide, and very rarely got to show any skin at all, so that saved him a deal of trouble.

At least the toque allows for some hair to show, the man mused, absently feeling his famous locks and staring off into the hills he would have to trek later.

"Listen, I've got to be off," Lily stood, "James got lost on the way to the bloody daycare with Harry, and they need me at the office early today."

"Have fun," Sirius gave a little wave, and when Lily flipped him off in return, he simply lifted his pleasantly decorated forearm with a self-satisfied chuckle. The little things brought him joy.

\----

Remus Lupin decidedly did not like this new brand of chocolate he had tried. It was supposed to be better for the environment, but something that tasted this abysmal surely couldn't be that good for anything or anyone. He ate the last chunk, because chocolate was chocolate after all, vowing to stick to his regular decadent bars he bought from the specialty candy shop down the street.

Off on his field study, Remus bent down, examining the layer of frost covering the small holarctic flora. In this sort of boreal climate, such was to be expected, but the growth rate had decreased .031 percent since last he checked, and that was apparently an issue to the municipality. Why don't _they_ come out here in the middle of god damn winter, ruin the knees of _their_ new trousers, and tell him how important one third of a percent was, eh?!

Remus blew his hair out of his eye, clenching his jaw. Why did he become an environmental biologist again? Ah, yes. To teach the bright young minds of the future. To be someone's mentor, confidant, show them that life holds wondrous things beyond the hallowed halls of school. Which he had evidently never gotten to do, as his talents were quickly recognized by the government fresh out of his own graduation.

Making his way down into civilization again from the base of the mountain, Remus passed a curious little coffee shop, and his moustache twitched. He had never been in before, but he had heard they made a very good mocha, so to both warm himself and rid his tongue of that disgusting eco-friendly cacao, he got in line. Passing through, he noticed most of the tables were full... a couple sitting, another group chatting at that table, a lone man with bedraggled looking hair and a beard that earned a second look from Remus if only for his dangerous smirk, and some teenagers. Well, fine. He had to be getting back to the lab anyway, he would just take this to go.

"A mocha please," he told the barista, and got out his wallet.

\----

Dear god, what cruel torture is this?

Sirius' eyes were wide as wheels. What a specimen. Mocha-Man was tall, with broad shoulders, and had the most beautifully keen eyes. Hadn't paid Sirius half a glance, though, which is rare, but still... maybe this day wasn't so bad after all.

As he slung his backpack over one shoulder and began to walk to the gondola, the guide imagined what the man's smile must be like. Perhaps he should introduce himself next time.

_"Hi, I'm Sirius Black."_

_"I am Mr. Sexy Mocha Man. I like chocolate. I think. And I'm very pretty. Join me on a date, equally handsome man who is obviously sensitive and compassionate as well as a right badass?"_

Sirius grinned to himself, allowing himself a little indulgence. He nearly fell off the lift getting up to the helipad, accepting the fake flower his fake date gave him in his fake daydream.

That night after guiding, Sirius stood in front of the mirror, wondering why he was still single. He had a great body (no frostbite yet), always said the right thing on a first date, and had perfect hair. What's not to love? Also, underneath his rough exterior, Sirius really was the ideal soulmate-- he was a romantic at heart, and would lay down his life for the people he cared about.

Except for Peter, when he was arrested for stealing that can of beer in high school.

But Sirius was 39... his soulmate was taking his time.

"Whoever you are," Sirius sighed, running his fingers over the raised skin on his forearm, "You're one tardy twit." He turned the light out, and flopped into bed.

\----

The moon shone in full over town, and Remus stood in front of the mirror, wondering why he wasn't living in some mansion somewhere. Really, he should be, with all the money he made, yet he found himself brushing his teeth in a cracked sink, looking at himself in a cracked mirror every night, in this dusty little apartment. It was purely because he hadn't bothered to look for another place, which was on his priority list... right below finishing season two of Fawlty Towers and learning how to bake a sponge cake.

He regarded his fit form in the reflection, running a finger across and turning to see the very long, very grating tattoo he had on his back. All the way _down_ his back. Whatever prompted his soulmate to say such a thing as this? What could he possibly say to warrant such incredulity from a perfect stranger?!

Remus supposed he could be a bit short with people sometimes, but he was an incredibly gentle and kind hearted man, never one to refuse companionship or service to anyone.

Unless it was the mayor, who demanded he work into the early mornings to determine if the alpine lake was contaminated with E. Coli or not. AS IF ANYONE WOULD SWIM IN A GLACIAL SPRING IN FEBRUARY, FILIUS. Taking one last glance at the long-winded speech tattooed on his back, Remus tugged on his sleeping shirt, and got into bed with a book. Ah, yes. The Hounds of Baskerville.

That night, he dreamt of curse words... and a wild head of hair that struck him as oddly familiar.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a Saturday, but Sirius was up early again the next morning, looking after Harry. James and Lily were going for brunch to celebrate their tenth anniversary, (they all weren't that old, were they? Bloody hell!) so they left the little one in the care of their closest friend, Harry's named godfather, as a treat instead of the daycare.

Sirius wasn't complaining. He loved looking after Harry, the little tike. He was polite, never destroyed anything in Sirius' house, and was rather bright for his age.

"Pads, can I watch TV?" Harry asked, hopping onto the worn sofa in Sirius' living room. Sirius looked up from some paperwork to do with yesterday's tour.

"Feel free, love." Harry smiled, and flicked it on to a movie called Hocus Pocus, which was halfway to finished.

"Pads?" Harry turned the TV down.

"Yes?"  

"I have a bit of a problem."

"Alright," Sirius said, getting up from the table. "What could it possibly be? You... missed the first half of this film."

"No." Harry shook his head adamantly.

"You shaved your dad's head in his sleep," Sirius guessed.

"No!" Harry giggled, and Sirius imagined James with a buzz. Wouldn't look too bad really, chopping off that mop of a hairdo. "I got into trouble with him and mum though."

"Oh?” Sirius could tell this wasn’t a joke, and came to sit. “Care to tell me why?"

"I said something to a boy I like at the daycare..."

"Ah," Sirius frowned, "And what did you say, Harry?"

"Well... mummy told me that we have our soul... soulm..."

"Soulmate?"

"Soulmate's first words tattooed on us."

"Yes."

"I can't find mine... maybe it hasn't appeared yet, or maybe it's on the bottom of my foot or something. Anyway, the boy I like came up to me, challenging me to a game of kickball. The scary daycare man didn't want me to, but the boy was so cute Sirius, I wanted to impress him. He came up to me and said, "Scared Potter?" all tough like."

"And?" Sirius blurted, on the edge of his seat, "What did you say?"

Harry pushed his glasses up. "Fuck you."

Sirius nearly collapsed. "W-what?!"

"I said it because I saw it on your arm, and I thought they were some kind of romantic first words! I explained to the daycare man, and he called me a dunderhead. I don't know what that means."

Sirius rubbed his temples. He would be getting an angry text from Lily. James would probably think it's funny... Lily too, honestly, but someone had to hold him accountable here. Snivellus shouldn't have called Harry a dunderhead, he was only five.

Snivellus shouldn't be working at a daycare, really.

* * *

Remus woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He was in a foul mood from the moment he got up, and now, he wouldn't be right until he had a coffee. Sinking his mood even more, Remus quickly realized he had no coffee pods left at home, so out it was once more for a mocha.

Dragging on his proper trousers, he got ready to leave, and headed out into town. At least it wasn’t raining, or snowing as it seemed to have been for days, so there was that, at least. He checked his phone for any pressing messages, and hummed at them.

_TONKS: you up for a movie tnight rems? I wanna watch IT and my flatmates are too chicken shit sooo u me and some cool ranch crisps take on Pennywise? >:) _

Remus chuckled, about to text his good friend back an affirmative. A movie night may just get him out of his rut. As he was though, he received another text.

_FLITWICK: Remus! Hope all is well! If you’ve nothing else to do, can I interest you in a little overtime work up in the sub-alpine tonight?_

Remus nearly threw his phone.

_FLITWICK: It’s quite important, really._

Remus typed out a reply.

_REMUS: I’m a bit busy tonight, Filius. Close friend of mine died in a horrible car accident, I’ll be with her family._

_FLITWICK: Oh dear me! By all means, take the time you need! My thoughts are with you and her family!_

Remus smirked to himself, and texted Tonks.

_REMUS: I’ve killed you for the greater good._

_REMUS: The greater good being a night of relaxation and warmth._

_TONKS: Glad I could be of service luv xx_

* * *

 “Alright. Time for the lecture,” Sirius mumbled, half to himself.

“What’s a lecture?” Harry looked up.

“Something your mother is very good at, Harry. Hurry on now, love.” They got to the door, and knocked.

Lily opened the door, letting Harry run in past her. “I just got off the phone with Severus,” she announced, crossing her arms. Sirius glanced at her sheepishly.

“And what did that self important windbag have to say?”

Lily looked at him incredulously for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t blame you for your soul mark, Sirius. I blame your damn foul-mouthed soulmate.” She moved. “Inside, come on.”

After some tea and a catch up between James and Sirius about some sports team they both follow, Sirius decided he must be going, as he had some things to do in town today. Harry was sad to see him go, but gave him a huge hug around the neck and made him promise he’d return soon.

“Tomorrow, Harry. I’ll visit tomorrow,” Sirius chuckled warmly, and headed out. A thought struck him. Maybe, if he were to get a mocha, he might miraculously see the other guy there getting a mocha, and they could potentially bond over their mutual love of mochas. Sirius made a face. He didn’t even like chocolate.

* * *

 

Walking up to the counter in the little café (Remus had barely noticed the name until now—The Leaky Cauldron it was called, a strange name for a strange little place) and ordered his regular. At least this would warm him up a little.

Walking through the front doors, he came out onto the street, head off in the clouds about where to buy the best crisps.

Sirius pulled out his phone when he thought he heard a buzz.

_JAMES: Lily’s mad, but I would’ve paid anything to hear my son say that to Lucius’ son._

_SIRIUS: Dyou think they’re soulmates?_

_JAMES: Wha, Harry and that Draco boy? :o_

Sirius began to type a response, but felt a sudden bang against his shoulder, and a hot sting of liquid across his chest.

Despite himself, Remus growled at the oblivious man before him. “Fuck you!” he sputtered, looking into his now empty coffee cup. Sirius’ jaw dropped open, and his eyelid twitched. “Well?!” Remus implored.

“Y…”

“What?”

“You…”

“I what?! You’re not seriously trying to blame that on me, are y—”

“SO YOU’RE THE DAFT BLOKE WHO GAVE ME THE WORST FUCKING SOULMARK EVER! WELL GUESS WHAT, I WILL NEVER LET THIS GO, THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN HAVING THE WORDS fuck you! PERMANENTLY MARKED ON YOUR SKIN!”

Remus blinked, and his eyes immediately fell down to the other man’s arm, where his words were indeed visible. He continued to stare until he began to chuckle, and soon, he couldn’t stop.

“What’s so funny?!” Sirius asked.

“Well imagine having that bloody essay written on your back in caps lock.”

Sirius thought about this for a second, then burst out laughing as well. A few moments later, the two were clutching each other in hysterics, and walking over to a table.

“You really had “fuck you!” on your arm your whole life?” Remus cringed, wiping at his eyes.

“Not a day without it,” Sirius clucked his tongue. “Eh… mind if I take a look at your back? Yours is something I’ve got to see.”

“Perhaps you will, if you apologize for wasting my coffee,” Remus smirked. Sirius sputtered, taking a finger across his damp shirt and licking it off. Then the taste suddenly dawned on him.

“You’re mocha man!”

“Pardon me?”

“You’re…” Sirius rubbed his forehead. “Fuck me.”

“One day.”

Sirius snapped his head up. Mocha Man really did have a hidden sense of humour, one that you wouldn’t guess at just his appearance.

“So… there will be a one day?”

Remus suddenly shifted, and averted his gaze. Sirius bit his lip, and decided to make the leap.

“Look… we’re soulmates, aren’t we?”

“I think that fact is quite easy to discern,” Remus nodded, deftly scratching his excessively tattooed back through his many layers.

“Then,” Sirius took a deep breath, raising an eyebrow, “Why not give it a try?”

“It?” Remus asked, “What’s it?”

“You. Me. Tonight?”

Speaking of ‘it’, Remus thought of his movie date with Tonks.

“I can’t tonight. Tomorrow?”

“Fair. What’s your name?”

Remus went to take a sip of his coffee, then realized it had all spilled. He sighed. “Remus Lupin.”

“I’m Sirius Black.”

Remus considered the man in front of him. He was attractive, witty, and seemed willing to test things out. Remus was more reserved about dating a man he just met, as his career was keeping him quite busy at the moment, but he would feel rather incomplete if he didn’t at least try.

Plus, Sirius wasn’t the worst company he could imagine.

“Yes, alright,” he agreed. Usually when he made dates, he had an overwhelming urge to pull out of the obligation right away in favour of returning home to his cozy bed to snuggle up with the good old Hounds of Baskerville… he had no such urge to do so with Sirius.

“Good. Number?” Sirius asked excitedly, and Remus gave it to him. As he was entering it, James texted him (terrible timing, as always).

_JAMES: CODE RED—Harry’s tattoo appeared on the bottom of his foot!_

Sirius raised his eyebrows, writing back.

_SIRIUS: Out with it then, what’s it say?!_

_JAMES: ‘Scared, Potter?’ Who the heck do you suppose that is?_

_SIRIUS: …. no idea._

_SIRIUS: Speaking of soulmates, I’ve just met mine, so gotta run Prongs!_

Both men looked up at the same time, and Remus stood.

“Well. I think I’d like another mocha, Sirius Black.”

“Mmm,” Sirius smiled, “I think I’d like to lick it off your lips, Remus Lupin.”

“My god, you’re forward.”

“Would you rather I wait another thirty years?Because we’re both getting old.”

Remus chuckled. “Let’s get the coffee then, so we can get on to the fucking good part.”

Sirius stared up at the sky, and grinned. Maybe his soulmate’s dirty mouth could prove entertaining in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only going to be one more chapter for this fic unfortunately, as I've got some other stories I'm working on, but it'll be a good one!


	3. Chapter 3

Remus made it to Tonks’ place that night with a rare giddy smile on his face, and his best friend immediately noticed.

“WHO IS IT?”

“Lower your voice, Dora,” Remus muttered, and shut her apartment door.

“WHOWHOWHO?!”

“A man.”

“No shit, sherlock, what’s he look like?!”

“Would you like a picture?”

“Yes!”

“I haven’t got one,” Remus stuck his tongue out, and Tonks glared at him through her mop of pink hair.

“Is he nice?”

“For the most part.”

“Is he sexy?”

“Oh, very.”

Tonks let out a squeal, then really started to notice things. Remus looked a little more dazed than he usually did with new dates. He also looked as though he had just survived a bus crash, which meant he was toiling over something. “Wait—is he your… no!”

Remus looked up, and began to smile. “Don’t freak out—but yes.”

Tonks looked as though she desperately wanted to freak out, but didn’t for her friend’s sake. “Oh my goodness, that’s amazing!”

“Yes,” Remus repeated, a larger smile breaking out on his face. She jumped over, and hugged him. He hugged her back, and sighed. “I’m meeting him tomorrow night. Restaurant in town.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“Oh, probably this, I don’t know…”

“Remus Lupin, you most certainly will not!” Tonks gasped, “This is your soulmate we’re talking about!”

“ _He_ looks like he hasn’t brushed his hair in days.”

“It probably looks good on him,” Tonks retorted, and ran a hand through his brown hair. “I’ll do a little something to yours.”

“Ohhh, no—”

“It’s nothing, I swear, just a little shampoo—”

“No, last time you did that, I became David Bowie for a week.”

“Hottest you’d ever been, I reckon.”

“Be that as it may, I would very much like to keep my good, ordinary hair for meeting Mr. Sirius Black tomorrow night, thank you.”

Tonks smiled up at him from where she was laying on his chest. “You’re anything but ordinary, Rems. Trust me.”

Remus smiled down at her fondly, and hummed. “So… are we watching this clown film or not?”

Tonks cackled evilly, and turned on the telly.

* * *

The next day, Sirius dropped by to visit Harry as he had promised.

“What’s got you all up in a bunch?” Lily asked, immediately noticing something off about their friend.

“Nothing, I—”

“ _What_ is it?”

Sirius blinked, and pulled her down the hallway, realizing there was no getting past his best friend. “I’ve found my soulmate.”

“You—Sirius!! That’s just wonderful, who is it?!”

“Someone extremely sexy—not as sexy as me, of course—”

“Of course.”

“--But very sexy!”

“And?”

“And we’re having dinner tonight. I’m incredibly nervous, Lily.”

“Let’s consult James, he knows from trial and error how not to fuck up first dates.”

While Harry was admiring the new tattoo on his foot, the three adults gathered in the kitchen to discuss Sirius’ night.

"What's he look like?" James asked.

"Erm... tall, got some muscles, adorable moustache--"

"So, entirely your type.”

Sirius gave a little smirk. “Well, soulmates are soulmates for a reason, aren’t they Prongs?”

“What did you say his name was?” Lily smiled.

“Remus something. Is it bad that I can’t remember his last name?”

James’ eyes were wide. “Remus Lupin?”

“Ah yes, that’s the bloke. What… you know him?!”

“He was a close friend of mine back in college!” James exclaimed, “My god… you would’ve met your soulmate a lot sooner if you’d have just come to Gryffindor Collegiate, Pads.”

“You know how mum was,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “She hated that school with all her being, wouldn’t let me attend, even if I did get accepted.”

“Which you did.”

“Your entry paper on the dangers of backcountry skiing was brilliant!” Lily added, and Sirius blushed.

“Back to Remus.”

“Yes— told me he wanted to be a biology professor, what’s he doing here? Good god, Remus, Remus… it makes sense that those would be his first words,” James laughed, shaking his head as he regarded Sirius’ infamous forearm. James seemed to consider something. “If I hadn’t met Lily, I’d fancy a go with Remus. The man’s perfect.”

“Isn’t he though?” Lily echoed dreamily, and Sirius frowned at his friends.

“My soulmate. Mine.”

“Right, yeah.”

“Sorry.”

Sirius grinned. “I’m looking forward to seeing what he’s wearing.”

* * *

“No.”

“But—"

“No, you will put that back right now.”

“No I will not!”

“Dora,” Remus said in threat, and Tonks muttered to herself as she tossed Remus’ old jumper back into his closet.

“It was the only vibrant thing you had.”

“That is not true, I have a baby blue cardigan—"

“Which you will not be wearing on a first date.”

“And _why_ not?”

“It makes you look like a grandmother, Remus.”

“Am I not a grandmother?” Remus muttered weakly, digging in his pockets for some chocolate. Tonks smirked, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Stop being so finickity. He’ll love you no matter what—he’s got to!”

Remus parted his hair nervously, and blew the piece that falling into his eyes out. “I look a mess.”

“You don’t.”

“Stop disagreeing with me.”

“Someone has to,” Tonks said, and fixed his hair properly for him. “There. Now don’t touch it, it’s perfect.”

Remus looked in the mirror, and saw that his hair was no longer flat with a piece falling down into his eyes, but his hair had been brushed back in a stylish sort of way that really showed his face.

“I look…” Remus mused, “Important.”

“You look like daddy material, is what you look like.”

Remus blushed hard, and turned to the side. “Does this make me look fat?”

“Asks the man with abs of steel,” Tonks huffed.

“I’m serious,” Remus whined, “Be honest with me.”

“Honestly? The only thing that could make you look fat is that big blue cardigan.”

Halfway to the bathroom, Remus turned hesitantly, fussing over his pants. “Be honest again. Am I fuckable in this outfit?”

“I'd fuck you all bloody night in it, darling. Now go wash your face.”

* * *

Sirius arrived at the restaurant early; he didn't want to be late, not for this. He sat at the table he had reserved, and began to wonder if he had dressed up enough. He was always one for snappy clothes when he eventually changed out of his ratty work clothes and toque. He was known by all his friends as the one who could lend you an outfit at the drop of a hat, and every single piece of clothing (except for the parka he wore up the mountain on week days) was designer. No, actually that was designer too... 

He fiddled with his suit jacket, and made sure his moustache looked nice in the spoon. Just then, a tall man approached the table. 

"Took you bloody long enough," Sirius began to joke, but looked up to find Severus Snape. 

"Well well..." Snape mused, "Look at you, all dressed up."

"It works for me. You, not so much," Sirius bit back, looking Snape up and down in his all black suit. “So, kick any kids at work lately?”

Snape sneered at him. “I have the weekend off. Who are you waiting for?"

"My soulmate."

A flash of jealousy crossed Snape's eyes, and Sirius smirked. Life had been cruel in Snape's eyes, not giving him Lily's first words to him. He was in love with her, yet they were not soulmates. 

"Anyway, I'm very busy looking sexy, Snivellus, I'd appreciate it if you didn't block everyone's view of me," Sirius sighed, and Snape rolled his eyes. "Who are you waiting for, your mum?"

"Unlike some lucky people," Snape leaned in, "The rest of us are still looking for our soulmate."

"No, I think it's just you," Sirius chuckled, and glanced over to the table Snape was heading for. "Who's that?"

"Russian politician named Karkaroff," Snape murmured, "Did a stint in jail for ten years, I figured he would be exciting."

Sirius glanced over at the glowering man picking his teeth with the steak knife. "What a lovely partner he would be. Imagine introducing him to the parents you babysit for!" 

"Oh, spare me." 

"Yknow, I did a couple years in the clink my twenties," Sirius grinned, "You should've given me a go."

"I would rather carve out my own eyes and ingest them," Snape sniffed, and sauntered back to his table. Sirius scoffed, and heard a voice.

"Well, that seemed pleasant." 

Sirius turned, and his eyes lit up. "Remus! That's just the town asshole, Snivellus Snape."

"Yes, I know Severus," Remus smiled slightly, "He went to college with me."

Sirius threw his arms up. "Jesus, did everyone go to that bloody school?!"

"Have you ordered yet?" 

Sirius handed a menu over. "Not yet. I wanted to wait for you, darling."

Remus smiled even wider at the pet name. They ordered and got a bottle of wine to go with their meal.

"Tell me about your work."

Sirius sat back. "I'm a ski guide."

"Sounds exciting."

"Your work does too. Professor?"

"Biologist only, at the moment. Who'd you hear that from?"

"James and Lily Potter. Close friends of mine."

"James and Lily," Remus marvelled, "My, it's been a long time. And— they have a son now, yes?"

"Little Harry Potter, yes."

"Mm. I have yet to meet him."

"Fiercely intelligent, the little one."

"Sounds like someone I could get along with... to Harry," Remus lifted his glass.

"Harry," Sirius echoed, and they clinked drinks. He began to admire how Remus looked tonight. He was dressed in a tweed jacket, something that looked quite old fashioned. But it fit him.

"You look wonderful tonight," Remus commented.

"Funny... I was about to say the same," Sirius winked, and Remus felt his entire body flush. _God, he never thought he'd be lucky enough to get such a gorgeous soulmate_. Sirius took a sip of wine, and his eyes flickered to Remus' bow-tie lips. Remus admired Sirius in return-- the two seemed to be enjoying this pass time. 

"Don't you wish that once we've met our soulmates, our soul marks would disappear?" Remus finally asked.

Sirius looked down at his arm. "I quite like mine, really. It would be terribly hard to part with it."

"I'd do anything to get rid of mine," Remus huffed, "You were a chatty fellow."

"When I'm pissed off, yeah! You know, I still have yet to see your tattoo."

“You know what it says, you said it.”

“Yes but that's my sly way of saying I want to see you without a shirt. Because I do.”

Remus smirked. So did Sirius.

Walking the streets arm in arm after dinner, the two laughed loudly, clutching local alcoholic drinks called butterbeers in their hands. It was very dark, and they could see the stars.

"Y'know," Sirius slurred, "I was named af... after a star. Whole family was."

"What... _Black_?" Remus mumbled incredulously.

"No you twit... Si-ri-us..."

"Right, mm... you've got such a _pretty_ name."

"You... you think?" Sirius grinned lazily, falling into Remus' arms. Remus toppled onto a nearby bench on the cobble street, holding Sirius up. 

"I certainly do."

"You... you're pretty," Sirius giggled, and Remus blushed for the thousandth time that night. 

"You're tired."

"So let's go to bed, then!" Sirius grinned, stroking Remus' face affectionately. Remus got sober pretty fast, as did Sirius for a moment. They stared at each other, and Remus finally made the move, dipping down and capturing the guide's lips. They kissed for a good minute, everything they'd felt for each other throughout the date finally channelled into the action. Remus pulled away, smiling affectionately down at his soulmate.

"You need lip balm."

"You need... a good shag!" Sirius hiccupped, and Remus stood him up, looking around furiously to see if anyone had heard. _Perhaps he did_. They returned to his tiny, messy flat, where Remus shoved aside some teabags and his old copy of The Hounds of Baskerville to make room for Sirius Black in his bed. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

After six months of leaving their socks and shirts at each other's places, Remus moved in with Sirius. Sirius lived in a nice mountain view apartment that he had purchased years ago with the money his mother had left him. It hasn't been much, as his mother had left most of her money to his younger brother, but it had been significant enough to make him one of the richest people in Hogsmeade. Remus absolutely loved it. He very much enjoyed having a shower that had running hot water, reasonable water pressure, and a sink that wasn't cracked. The bed didn't groan, unless they wanted it to, and the toilet didn't leak in warm weather. The best part for Remus though, was having his soulmate to cuddle with upon falling asleep and waking up... even if they didn't do much sleeping in the first six months.

"Well?" Sirius asked, straightening his fiance's baby blue cardigan, "Ready for your first day?"

Remus smiled. "As I'll ever be, I suppose." Sirius chuckled, kissing Remus on the cheek, and they headed out. When they got to the building, Sirius gave Remus one last wave before heading up to the chairlift a few blocks over for work, and Remus took a deep breath, walking in.

"Alright, everyone. I'll be your first grade teacher this year," he smiled, writing his name on the board, "Can anyone tell me what kind of trees we have in our town?"

"Big ones, with lots of snow on them!" Harry shouted, and Remus chuckled.

"Very good, Harry, but if you could be a little more specific..."

Beside him, little Draco rolled his eyes. "Deciduous. My father taught me all about them."

Harry grinned at him. "You're smart, Malfoy."

"And you're not, Potter," Draco snapped, but his face softened a little. "Of course, that could easily be corrected... if I were to teach you a thing or two."

Remus watched the two young soulmates, thinking of himself and Sirius, and turned back to the board.

"What's the tattoo on your back, Mr. Lupin?" a tiny girl with frizzy brown hair asked, "I can see a little at the base of your neck. It looks like a soulmark."

"Trust me," Remus smirked, "I wouldn't be in a job very long if I showed you. Now please, open your books everyone."

He stifled a laugh trying to imagine what they would all say to _Sirius'_ crass soulmark... he almost felt bad that that was his first encounter with him, but Sirius got the better one of the two, as far as he was concerned. For now, Remus would have to control his language at work, since he was surrounded by six year olds.

He had taken a job at the local elementary school the same year Harry began grade school. Mayor Flitwick had been happy to provide him a glowing reference, even though he was sad to lose such an intelligent, willing worker for the city. Remus wanted to break into the profession he had always dreamed of though, and one day he would move on to teach a university biology class.

"Mr. Lupin, what's a daft bloke?" the frizzy haired girl asked, obviously able to see some more of his tattoo over his cardigan. Remus turned, and sighed.

"Me, according to my better half. Any more questions about my ever so romantic soul mark from you lot?" he smiled. "Good. Let's begin the lesson then, yes? Yes."

Lily and James watched through the crack of the door, giggling with each other.

"Knew he'd be great for the job."

"No one better. Say, do you think Sirius would have been a good teacher?" James asked.

"Pads? God, no. He'd tell them all just what his soulmark meant, and have a stupid grin on his face the whole time, even as he got sacked."

"Well... Harry gets it from someone," James murmured, as they watched their son try and show Draco the bottom of his foot.

"They're quite suited for each other, aren't they?" Lily said.

"Harry and Draco?! Eh, well darling, if I had a say--"

"No! Sirius and Moony."

"Of course. They're going through new-couple euphoria right now, but they'll be bickering like an old married couple in no time."

"Yeah," Lily smiled, and took her husband's hand as they let Remus teach his class. Maybe the world did know what it was doing with all these tattoos... maybe fate really did make sense. All Remus and Sirius knew was that they, two men eccentric in their own way, had found one another under near impossible circumstances-- a text, a spilled mocha, and a fuck you.  


End file.
